Using the Language of Peacemakers

At the last general conference, President Dallin H. Oaks asked us to stop arguing and to use the language and method of peacemakers. A peacemaker is someone who helps people get along. President Oaks said, “In our families and other personal relationships, let us avoid what is harsh and hateful.”

Elder Alfred Kyungu said this invitation came from the prophet. It is not just a little idea. It is a way to follow Jesus. So Elder Kyungu thought about the words we should stop saying, and the kind words we can say instead.

The scriptures teach us to be careful with our words. Paul wrote, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” That means only say things that help.

Elder Kyungu said almost everyone has been hurt by mean words. Words like: “You are stupid.” “What is wrong with you?” “This is all your fault.” “You never listen.” “Leave me alone.” “I do not care.” Mean words like these hurt people and make it hard to love each other.

Instead, we can use words that bring peace. Words like: “Please.” “Thank you.” “I appreciate that.” “We can work this out.” “It is OK.” “I care about you.” “I am here for you.” “You are not alone.” “I’m sorry.” “Please forgive me.” “I forgive you.” “Let us start again.”

In the Book of Mormon, some people who had been at war buried their swords deep in the ground, and they promised never to fight again. Elder Kyungu said we can bury our mean words too!

There is a hymn that says, “I must speak the loving word, ere the sun goes down.” Jesus taught that what is in our heart comes out of our mouth. So if we fill our hearts with love for Jesus, kind words will come out.

Elder Kyungu asked us to say sorry when we have used mean words, and to pray for peace in our families. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.” Elder Kyungu said this peace is real, and it begins with us, with our hearts, our choices, and our words.

A scripture for this talk: Ephesians 4:29. We can use kind words that build people up and make peace.

Elder Alfred Kyungu, a General Authority Seventy, began by quoting President Dallin H. Oaks at the April 2026 conference: Let us follow him by forgoing contention and by using the language and method of peacemakers in our families and other personal relationships. Let us avoid what is harsh and hateful. President Oaks also invited everyone to study the conference messages and act in faith on them.

Elder Kyungu said this invitation comes from the living prophet. It is not a simple suggestion. It is a call to discipleship as we follow Jesus Christ. He treated it as a spiritual exercise: identify the words we need to give up and replace them with words that bring peace.

The Lord has always warned against contention. Proverbs lists things the Lord hates, including a lying tongue and he that soweth discord among brethren. Jesus taught that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. Paul wrote, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” He also counseled the Saints to let their speech be always with grace.

Elder Kyungu said most of us have been hurt by humiliating or discouraging words from family, coworkers, friends, or even Church members. He listed words to give up: “You are useless.’ ‘You are stupid.’ ‘You never do anything right.’ ‘What is wrong with you?’ ‘This is all your fault.’ ‘You always mess things up.’ ‘You never listen.’ ‘You caused this problem.’ ‘Leave me alone.’ ‘I do not care.” Such words weaken love, diminish respect, and damage relationships.

Instead, we can choose words that build understanding and peace: Please, thank you. I appreciate that. I respect your view. This is a good point. Let us slow down and talk. We can work this out. It is okay. Let us stay calm. We don’t have to rush. I care about you. I’m here for you. You are not alone. How are you feeling? That matters to me. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive you. Let us start again. I don’t want this to divide us.

Just as the converted Lamanites buried their weapons of war, we too can bury the language of contention for peace. President Thomas S. Monson taught us to leave unsaid the harsh things we’re tempted to say. A hymn teaches, “I must speak the loving word, ere the sun goes down.” And “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh,” so we should fill our hearts with the doctrine of Christ, which can change how we talk.

He said this peace starts on the inside. As we follow Jesus Christ, we not only feel His peace but, as Elder Ulisses Soares said, “We can become instruments of His peace in the world.” Even when we have different opinions, Elder Kyungu said, “Let us speak with ‘warm respect when we speak with each other.’ Let us qualify for His blessings by using the language … of peacemakers.” He testified that Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace and that President Oaks is the prophet inviting us to talk as peacemakers.

Elder Kyungu invited us to repent of harsh words that have offended others, pray for peaceful communication even when we disagree, and use language that uplifts, edifies, comforts and brings people together. The Savior promised, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.” Elder Kyungu said, “This peace is real. It is powerful, and it begins with us—with our hearts, our choices, and our words.”

Scripture to look up: Ephesians 4:29. Let no corrupt communication come out of our mouths, only words that build others up, the language of peacemakers.

Elder Alfred Kyungu, a General Authority Seventy, opened by recalling President Dallin H. Oaks’s words closing the Sunday morning session of April 2026 general conference: As followers of Christ, let us follow him by forgoing contention and by using the language and method of peacemakers in our families and other personal relationships. Let us avoid what is harsh and hateful. Closing that conference, President Oaks invited all to study and ponder them prayerfully and to act in faith on the principles they explain.

Elder Kyungu framed it as prophetic direction: “This invitation to forgo contention by using the language of peacemakers comes from the living prophet. It is not a simple suggestion; it is a call to discipleship as we follow Jesus Christ.” As he pondered how to act on it, he concluded it is “It is a spiritual exercise to identify the language and expressions we need to forgo and then replace them with words and phrases that bring peace wherever we are and at all times.”

He traced the counsel through scripture. Proverbs names six, even seven, things the Lord hates, among them a lying tongue, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:16–19). Jesus taught, “But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:36–37). Paul wrote, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29), and counseled the Colossians to Let your speech be always with grace (Colossians 4:6).

Then he got specific. “I believe that all of us in this mortal journey have been hurt by some form of humiliating, degrading, or discouraging language from a family member, a colleague at work, a friend, or even a fellow member of the Church.” Words that damage relationships and must be forgone include: “Examples include: ‘You are useless.’ ‘You are stupid.’ ‘You never do anything right.’ ‘What is wrong with you?’ ‘This is all your fault.’ ‘You always mess things up.’ ‘You never listen.’ ‘You caused this problem.’ ‘Leave me alone.’ ‘I do not care.’ ‘I do not need you in my life.’ ‘I do not care about you.’ ‘Just stop talking.’” Such words never edify. They weaken love, diminish respect, and damage relationships.

Instead of language that escalates anger, disappointment, and frustration, we should choose words that encourage understanding and peace, that strengthen confidence and preserve relationships: Please, thank you. I appreciate that. I respect your view. This is a good point. Let us slow down and talk. We can work this out. It is okay. Let us stay calm. We don’t have to rush. I care about you. I’m here for you. You are not alone. How are you feeling? That matters to me. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive you. Let us start again. I don’t want this to divide us.

He drew on the Anti-Nephi-Lehies (Alma 24): “As the converted Lamanites ‘buried the weapons of war, for peace,’ we too can bury the language of contention for peace.” President Thomas S. Monson taught us to refrain from anger and leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say. Hymn 224 reminds us, “I must speak the loving word, ere the sun goes down.” And the New Testament teaches that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). So, let us fill our heart with the true doctrine of Christ, which has the power to change our language. As we follow Jesus, quoting Elder Ulisses Soares, we not only feel His peace but “We can become instruments of His peace in the world.”

His closing invitations were a series of let us statements: repent for harsh language that has offended friends, leaders, family, and colleagues; pray for peaceful communication regardless of the difference in our opinions; use language that uplifts, edifies, comforts and brings people together; speak with warm respect; and “Let us qualify for His blessings by using the language … of peacemakers.” The Savior promised, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you” (John 14:27). “This peace is real. It is powerful, and it begins with us—with our hearts, our choices, and our words.” He testified that Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace and that President Oaks is the prophet inviting us to communicate as peacemakers.